


Lush

by baeberiibungh



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: AUish, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Characters a bit OOC, Crying, Fighting, M/M, Post S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 07:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7609708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeberiibungh/pseuds/baeberiibungh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The taste of whisky in Will’s mouth is as familiar as his scent to Hannibal by now…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lush

Something thumps in the dark and Hannibal’s eyes snap open. He listens completely still for a few seconds when a soft _merde_ reaches his ear and all the tension leaves his body as he slumps back into the bed. There are more sounds after that, some louder than others while boots are taken off and thrown into the wall, coats are pulled off with more curses at their forced bindings and the kitchen tap running after that. The room is small, the wall wooden slats, polished and burnished into an even shine that gleam even in the weak moonlight that streaks in from the open window. The window faces the river that sweeps by with a gurgling lullaby that makes Will nod as he fishes by the shade of the old trees on the bank.

The bedroom door opens with a crash, the doorknob and handle hitting the wall with a bang. Hannibal hears Will admonish the door with a slurred out ‘shhhhhhhh’ and turns his face to look at Will. Will is wearing only his undershirt and his pants, open in the front. He is not wearing any underwear. He walks into the room barefoot with weaving steps, obviously drunk off his ass and gets on the bed. He crawls on the bed till his face is a feet away from Hannibal’s who is watching him without saying anything. Will asks, in the parody of a whisper, “Hannibal are you awake?” Hannibal does not say anything, just keeps looking, so Will starts shaking him as he asks again, “Are you awake?”

“I am now,” Hannibal informs Will in an even tone, pushing at Will with one hand while he sits up to his other elbow. “What did you want?” Hannibal asks, even though he already knows why Will ‘woke’ him up and is near blackout drunk. He knows.

“I want to have sex with you,” Will says before leaning forward and kissing Hannibal a little off his lips. Hannibal kisses him back, and when Will presses more, opens his mouth and tongues at Will’s mouth. The taste of whisky in Will’s mouth is as familiar as his scent to Hannibal by now. He also gets a whiff of Will’s sweat, his undershirt sticking to him as Hannibal keeps one hand on Will. Hannibal leans back, breaking the kiss and Will makes a sad little noise at being deprived of the kiss. He follows hungrily, gulping at the empty air, trying to kiss Hannibal once more, but Hannibal pushes him back more firmly. Will sits back on his haunches and blinks stupidly at Hannibal at being stopped.

“I think it would be better if you actually sleep now rather than have sex, Will. You are very drunk and it will not be a great experience waking up tomorrow morning,” Hannibal says to Will.

“I don’t want to sleep,” Will interrupts Hannibal to say assertively. More softer he adds, “I can’t sleep.”

“Nightmares again?” Hannibal asks, sitting up properly, to run one hand over Will’s back. Will gives a slight shiver at that.

“Yes,” Will says, his head pointed towards his own lap, his brows scrunched in frustration. 

“And good sex always does put you right out, being fucked into unconsciousness, was that what you said that time?” Hannibal asks, in a too neutral tone. He continues, “And oh, I forgot the part where you can’t bear to have me in you when you are sober, but need to dull your senses to the extent that you cannot really feel me touching you, as I recall from the first morning you did this and explained to me, like this is some research paper, some theory you are studying and are not an intimate part of. Better an alcoholic, rather than be in love with a cannibalistic serial killer I suppose.” Hannibal spits out the last part, the ‘cannibalistic serial killer’ almost a snarl so garbled that Will hardly understands.

“Because I can’t bear it, cannot bear to be touched by you when I am sober, when I can still imagine rather than dream, because I can feel the last breaths of your victims rattling in your hands, like you have caged their souls in the prison of your heart. I touch you and I feel their skin shuddering against yours as they cry to be saved. I kiss you and I taste all your lies, everything you said to them and me and the poor bastards inbetween. You push in and I can feel the scalpel in your hands gutting your victim any way you choose because that is your choice. I want you and it feels like a sin, knowing what I know, understanding what I get, and,” Will adds, his voice breaking, “I love you, drunk and sober, and it does not feel enough.”

“So go back then, go back to Jack and his puppet strings, let him play you and use you and discard you as he wants because you never learned to say no to pain. Go right now Will, and he will keep you safe, he will keep you sane by proving your insanity in following me. Go back and become what you were once again,” Hannibal tosses out angrily, getting out of the bed altogether.

Will looks stricken, the daze of the alcohol lessening as he looks near sober. His lips tremble and then tears are spilling down his cheeks as he hiccoughs and says, “I cannot go back. I have nowhere to go back. And I don’t want to go back. I…I want to stay with you,”

“I don’t want a drunk fuckdoll, I can get many at a bar and leave when I am done. I can’t deal with you and your emotions and the seesaw of your feelings. You are the one who jumped. The one who pulled me here, in this safe nook of nowhere land and I stayed Will, I stayed over years of habit and practice and more and you cannot bear to touch me. Well I can’t bear not to be touched too. I don’t like how you have to force your mind to not mind me just because your heart wants me. I want you sober, aware, immediate, in the place and the time and I want you to be mine under no conditions.”

Will gives another hiccough, still crying and nods, and then Hannibal’s hands are suddenly around him, holding him close and Will never wants to let go of him. The voices whisper, waiting to point out everything wrong, but Will just push those away and hugs Hannibal back as fiercely. They gradually lay down on the bed, still clutching the other and then goes off to sleep. They wake in the morning wrapped around each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Unbetaed. Kudos and comments please guys!


End file.
